


The Risks of Evilly Possessing Teenagers to Fight Other Teenagers

by death-by-ladybug (fandomchildd), fandomchildd



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Akumatized Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Hawk Moth is an idiot, Humorous Ending, LadyNoir - Freeform, Lila salt, Miraculous Holder Alya Césaire, Secret Identity Fail, The Ladyblog, We Are All Alya Césaire, love square shenanigans, spite, this troubled me for weeks then went out of control, was supposed to be fluffy but ended up salty, where did this angst come from
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-08-20 08:30:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20224861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomchildd/pseuds/death-by-ladybug, https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomchildd/pseuds/fandomchildd
Summary: Gabriel tries to akumatize a hero.It... doesn't go as planned.And Alya has some things to say about the results.





	The Risks of Evilly Possessing Teenagers to Fight Other Teenagers

**Author's Note:**

> it has been twelve whole hours since i said i had finished it and now it is several hundred words longer and heck im going to camp tomorrow and should be packing but nope so like here take this get it away from me  
now let me go scream and hope no one else thinks this is shit  
yeah yeah i'm working on a sequel to excuse me i retain the right to refuse your evil butterfly and the next chapter of balancing act and fuck too many ideas i need to write them all but i can't

Three hours ago, Hawk Moth was convinced he was going to win. He was inches away from akumatizing Ladybug, which, let's be real, was an almost guaranteed victory. He wasn't exactly sure why Ladybug was sitting at the top of the Eiffel Tower, crying. But hell yes, he was going to use that. 

Then, heroic as ever, Chat Noir had leapt in front of her and the akuma had latched onto his need to protect Ladybug at all costs, and Hawk Moth was left with an akuma whose only goal was to protect Ladybug. His name was Chat Blanc. He was also an asshole, a lesson Hawk Moth was learning the hard way. Through the mental bond, every comment and suggestion was rudely shut down with more than a healthy amount of swearing. It got old quickly. Very quickly. 

Ugh, teenage rebellion. That was _ so _ last year.

To top it all off, Nathalie had called to tell him Adrien was missing. He hadn't showed up to his photoshoot and wasn't at any of his friends' houses, though one of his friends' parents claimed their daughter was missing too. Which... was worrying. 

No, Hawk Moth was not having a good day at all. 

Chat Blanc was still just in love with Ladybug as Chat Noir had been. Which wasn’t exactly a good thing for the ideal akuma. No, this was not good at all. 

Three hours since successfully (or so he thought) akumatizing Chat Noir, Hawk Moth was completely and utterly done . 

Chat Blanc ignored Hawk Moth, focusing on Ladybug. He'd been chasing after her for hours, and really, Hawk Moth wouldn't be surprised if Ladybug thought Chat Blanc was trying to get her Miraculous. Which he very much wasn't trying to do. 

Honestly, if he weren't after the Miraculouses, he'd use the Butterfly Miraculous to get those two idiots to sit down and talk things out. Chat Blanc's loyalty to his partner was sickeningly sweet. Part of him, although he would deny it if questioned, wanted to put them out of their misery and get them together already. (He wasn't that oblivious to his son's major celebrity crush on Ladybug, which wasn't exactly a good quality for a supervillain's son.)

Most of all, Hawk Moth was really getting tired of watching through Chat Blanc’s eyes. 

His akuma was staring at his worst enemy _ lovingly _. 

...This was really not a good idea, was it.

Hawk Moth sighed and detransformed. He didn’t want to know what happened when Chat Blanc caught up with Ladybug (inevitable, he thought). He most certainly did not want to watch through Chat Blanc’s eyes. 

It was bad enough when he had to watch them flirt through the eyes of an akuma. He shuddered even _ thinking _ about it. With all the _ puns _ and _ nicknames _ and _ somehow they still managed to have the time to beat his akumas? _

Sighing, Gabriel pulled up the Ladyblog. 

Only to freeze. 

Because there was a livestream from the Ladyblog. According to the caption, it was _ directly _streamed from Rena Rouge’s flute. 

Rena Rouge, Carapace, Queen Bee, Viperion, Ryuko, Roi Singe, Pegasus, and Bunnyx stood on the edge of a roof, watching warily as Ladybug and Chat Blanc sat facing each other, conversing in hushed tones in a language only they could understand. Ladybug was perfectly comfortable, not at all worried by her partner’s inverted colors. 

The remaining superheroes clearly had no idea what to do. On one hand, akuma. On the other, Ladybug most certainly was not panicking. 

Gabriel had half a mind to transform again to hear what they were saying. 

He very much regretted this particular akuma. 

Rena wiped her eyes. It was getting late, and she was supposed to be babysitting Ella and Etta. Thankfully, her parents had believed her when she said she was going out to look for Marinette and Adrien, who were both missing. It wasn’t _ exactly _a lie. A few hours ago, Queen Bee had left to go look for them, and Viperion and Ryuko had joined her once they heard who was missing. Since then, they’d taken shifts looking for Adrien and Marinette and watching Chat Blanc and Ladybug. 

Most of the other heroes had had to head home before it got dark, and it was just Rena Rouge and Queen Bee left. By this point in her superhero and journalistic careers, Alya had taken a bunch of self defense classes and her parents trusted her enough to not expect her home at dark. She’d be fine. Queen Bee’s identity was well known, her father wouldn’t worry much. 

Both heroines jumped as Ladybug’s voice grew louder and louder until she was yelling, but neither could figure out what she was saying. Rena recognized some of the words, yeah, but it all seemed like nonsense. Ladybug had once explained their language was a mix of French, English, and Mandarin, with a bunch of random rules thrown in to throw people off, and most of the time they didn’t exactly explain what they had said. Even if she had hours of footage of their language, she probably wouldn’t be able to figure it out. 

Which really sucked. She had no idea if Ladybug needed backup or not. 

And she could be using this time to be looking for Marinette! 

A hero’s duty had to be more important than looking for a missing friend, right? Marinette was probably fine. Yeah. Besides, past all the insecurities and clumsiness, Marinette was a badass. There was no way something bad had happened to her. 

But Ladybug could take care of herself, that Alya was sure of. 

Rena Rouge turned to Queen Bee to tell her she was going to look for Marinette and Adrien again, only for Queenie’s jaw to _ drop _. She spun around-

And promptly dropping her flute in shock. 

"Oh my fucking god, Rena, you better not be illusioning me," Queen Bee breathed, and Rena Rouge breathlessly laughed. Oh no. She couldn't have illusioned this if she _tried_.

One of the things Ladybug hated with her whole heart-

was Chat Noir's self-sacrificing _ bullshit _.

Of course when Lila had reduced her to her lowest there would be _ another _ akuma after her and _ of fucking course _ Chat Noir would take an akuma for her (Mme. Bustier had taken an akuma for her _ of course _ Chat would) and of fucking course Chat Blanc would chase her across the city to _ make sure she was safe _ and talk to her for _ hours _ and all the heroes ( _ all of them _ ) had gathered at the edge of the building ready to leap in to defend her at any moment (but none of them were _ him _ , she was safe with him) but then they were all gone (Queenie stayed, Rena stayed, they all _ wanted _ to).

There was really nothing to do-

but to grab Chat Blanc's bell, crushing it in her fists (her yoyo was ready in her other hand), catching the fleeing akuma with her (left, non dominant) hand, and using her grip on Chat Blanc's collar to yank him down for a searing kiss, ignoring the feeling of _ wrongness _ that passed through her as the akumatization faded and left Chat Noir where Chat Blanc has been but really _ Ladybug didn't give a fuck _. 

Chat Noir, Chat Blanc, whatever. Same dumbass cat. 

_ Her _ cat. 

Chat Noir might have no idea what was going on but _ he sure as hell wasn't complaining. _

Alya smirked as she started typing. Recently there had been an increase in adults akumatized over disobedient teenagers, as Marinette had kindly pointed out, and Adrien had jokingly suggested Hawk Moth defeated by ridiculous teenage shenanigans. 

And, well, it wasn't a _bad_ plan, per say... 

And _any_ good journalist knows how to twist the truth. There would be times to freak out about _Ladynoir being canon_ later. 

Alya gasped as an idea struck her. Oh hell yes, if Marinette was right and Hawk Moth was a struggling adult (and Marinette was pretty much _always _right) than she just might being doing the city a _huge_ favor. She spun around in her swivel chair, snatching up her phone to text Lila. This was a _breakthrough_ worth of Ladybug's best friend herself. 

Only to find a string of texts from Marinette. 

_Marinette__: _alya i'm really sorry for disappearing  
_Marinette:_ maman told me you spent hours searching for me  
_Marinette:_ adrien's safe too don't worry  
_Marinette:_ but yeah  
_Marinette: _i heard rena rouge herself livestreamed to your blog  
_Marinette: _that's awesome  
_Marinette: _it's so nice of lila to do that for you  
_Marinette:_ um  
_Marinette:_ i talked to adrien for a while, too  
_Marinette: _so i'll just let you rant about the ladybug stuff and then you can grill me about that

Alya frowned. 

_Alya:_ what do you mean it's so nice of lila to do that?  
_Marinette__:_ didn't you hear? lila is rena rouge. she showed adrien her miraculous the first day they met, but then she got akumatized so she had to change her suit a bunch when Ladybug finally called on her  
_Alya__:_ that's bs! no hero would just _reveal their identity_ to a complete stranger!  
_Marinette:_ well, chloe ended up fine. it's not like hm wants the fox miraculous, so lila gets to keep her miraculous all the time. really, how did you not hear about this? it's one of lila's biggest accomplishments.   
_Alya:_ but wasn't lila in achu on heros day? and rena rouge was here!  
_Marinette:_ oh so now you check your facts. funny you should mention that, it's a pity you couldn't see how much bs lila talks only _after_ i've dodged seven akumas because of her lies, but hey, it was just a matter of time. lila can't exactly lie about having the fox miraculous when _you_ have it. but no, i had to dodge the akuma that became chameleon twice, and now also the one that became chat blanc. but hey, i sure don't mind at all that you ditched me for lies the instant a shiny new girl walked in  
_Marinette__:_ whoops that was not supposed to be so salty  
_Marinette:_ okay okay okay i'm maybe a little bit salty that you didn't believe me  
_Marinette: _you're my second best friend and i don't want this to change that  
_Marinette: _text me tomorrow when i'm not upset that this dumb cat went and took an akuma for me all because i couldn't keep my head up when my second best friend didn't trust me over a liar she barely knows  
_Marinette: _or don't  
_Marinette: _if our friendship doesn't really matter to you you're under to obligation to ever speak to me again

Alya sat down and cried, Trixx flying out of her hair to comfort her. "Shh, kit, it's okay. You can fix this," Trixx crooned, and Alya felt her heart lift a little. Right. She wasn't alone anymore. She could figure this out. 

_Alya:_ tell me what i did wrong and i'll do everything i can to fix it

She didn't get an answer that night, instead focusing on her article. The one that she was writing based on Marinette's idea and she _would_ post it by the next morning. 

* * *

The next day, the Ladyblog had breaking news: Ladynoir Confirmed! 

There was an entire page of the blog dedicated to thanking Hawk Moth for getting Paris' OTP together at last. 

The day after, the Ladyblog had _ more _ breaking news: No More Akumas! The Truth Behind Hawk Moth's Motives. 

Apparently, Hawk Moth had given up both the Moth and Peacock miraculouses during the night. And now, everyone in Paris was completely and utterly convinced that Hawk Moth's plan had been to get Ladybug and Chat Noir together the whole time. 

Needless to say, Gabriel Agreste was _ not _ pleased at all. 

* * *

After starting a _war_ on the class group chat, Alya was finally satisfied. Hawk Moth was gone via Ladyblog+Marinette's ingeniousness, Lila taken down via group chat, Ladynoir sailed via akuma, and Adrinette looking much better than it was before (for reasons Alya hadn't _quite_ dragged out of Marinette). 

Life was good. 

Life was _very _good when Alya accidentally walked in on Ladybug detransforming on her balcony. 

Life was doing _really fucking great_ when Chloe came running to Alya freaking out because she had accidentally spotted Chat Noir detransforming _into Adrien_ and had no idea who else to scream at. 

Ladybug a.k.a. Marinette did not realize that her superhero partner/boyfriend was Adrien Agreste. 

Adrien a.k.a. Chat Noir had _no idea_ he was making out with the increasingly more bold class president who used to stumble over her words and feet around him. 

And personally, Alya found it _fucking hilarious. _

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!  
<3  
My tumblr is death-by-ladybug.


End file.
